Unlock Your Soul Magic with Nikhi Joshi

What Do You Do When Life Feels Hard? Let's Co-Regulate Together

• Nikhi Joshi • Episode 43

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I take you through a behind the scenes walk through of the emotional journey of when life feels overwhelming. Between a recent vacation, the pressures of my day job, and balancing work with my soul business, my intention is for you to see first-hand how to presence your feelings, ask deeper questions about your emotional state, feel validated and connect with your higher self. My hope is this episode helps  you navigate difficult emotions by helping you deeply listen to your inner self.

Note that the last minute of this episode got choppy because of connectivity issues - I do close with some helpful self reflection questions for you to consider before that part. May be I will re-upload at some point. May be I will leave it as it is and allow my perfectionist parts to find acceptance in this version too.

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https://www.nikhijoshi.com/podcast-disclaimer

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

Oh, um, welcome to my fun hair day. I'm here to talk about when life feels like it's working against you, when things aren't happening the way you hoped, or things feel hard and you just want to like why is this happening to me? Starts to come up in your mind and your heart. Um, if you're new to my page and space, I'm nikki. I'm an akashic record reader, a human design reader, astrology reader and soul guide. I'm here to help people remember who they are at the soul level, like these are the soul missions and the lessons and I think I'm back. So with that, I love to work with people one-on-one to reconnect with their soul through so many ways. Whichever way you feel called there are readings on my page. So many ways, whichever way you feel called, there are readings on my page. So many ways to explore together. You can always message me to learn more and I'm here to presence.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

I find presencing a very beautiful act of truly acknowledging what is happening in your life. I'm in a season where I love to creatively like, write poetry, or sing or dance and write all these forms of creative expression, of a healing and nurturing to my soul, and yet you haven't seen much of me on Instagram lately. If you've noticed, I partly been vacationing and enjoying my life in the present moment and I came back from a lovely break in Atlanta which was very healing to my soul because I spent so much time in nature. I'm not a outdoorsy person, um, mostly through conditioning, I would say not necessarily I don't like being outdoors, um, but I come back to. Well, I came back and it's been two days, one and a half days at work and I can feel the pressure and I can feel the like oh, this is like energy. I really don't want to be around and, as much as I appreciate the gift that is my day job, that has been an anchor, that has been so present and I'm just like constantly trying to like tame my hair. If it will, is willing to, let's see um, I keep like acknowledging the gift that is my job, even though it's present here for longer than I expected, like, on the one hand, some part of me thought, and so the way I want to like explain this message of like, what do you do when you feel like life is hard and life is coming at you, and I know how much you can move through things when you see the gift in it.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

And yet I think it's so important to acknowledge and again back to this word presence that things feel shitty at times and I'm feeling that right now, especially this stark contrast from vacationing and just having no strict schedule and just being by the water, immersed in trees and amazing landscapes, and grilling and cooking outdoors and hanging around with family and friends. It was just so between that and also going camping a week before I just like got to be in a space that felt so restful, like it kept moving, but it felt like I could handle the pace and I was receiving so much nourishment from going slow and my nervous system could calibrate to that pace. Instead of feeling like, oh, I'm slow means something's wrong, something's about to happen, I need to like do something, to be productive, to be like safe, which is a lot of conditioning we tend to carry from lifetimes of wars and oppression and capitalism that turned toxic I wouldn't say Nestle capitalism itself, white supremacy and more lots of collective wounding that we carry. And so I'm just feeling and acknowledging, I'm feeling the weight of that, coming back where I need to be productive. And then there's like work feels slower in some ways because the economy is slower than it was a few years ago, and or even a year ago for that matter. And I can feel that at work and I'm, you know, one foot in, one foot out, trying to have my job but also keep my sole business alive, even if it takes a break or vacations. And there's a lot of other behind the scenes things that keep happening. Readings um, I just legalized my business into its own in entity, which is amazing and something I'm taking a moment to celebrate now that the thought is here.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

And back to this feeling why am I feeling this feeling and feel free to presence? What's feeling icky and hard in your life? Right now? We get to co-regulate together and that is a magical, magical thing. So underrated the power of high quality co-regulation. I have seen it and I felt it, and I am asking myself this question.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

As I ask the question to you like why are you feeling like life is coming at you? Why do you not feel like life is helping you or supporting you? What makes you think that things are happening to you, not happening for you? And as I'm sitting with those questions here, real time with you all, it's 333, as I'm looking at my phone and I'm thinking it's not on my terms, like my terms, and I'm realizing I may not even have made this clear to life, to the universe, to my guides, to God or any other higher power that you believe in Could be just yourself. If you're an atheist and like that's whatever that looks like for you, that construct is to me it's not happening on my terms.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

Here I am like saying yes to work, like I got added to a meeting at 5 pm, my time till 7 p, and I'm like, oh, like, do I really need to be here for that? And then I'm like was on a call with someone where I realized like well, one, they were transparent enough with me to share, like people unsure about and I brought this in a my previous podcast, if you want to go back and listen how I'd been navigating, dealing with someone who might be going on a performance plan on my team, and all that it's bringing up in me. And it's bringing those feelings up in me because it feels like a part of me, like it's mirroring a part of me that feels like I'm not doing good enough, mirroring a part of me that feels like I'm not doing good enough, and yet I made the choice to like not go all out at work. And here I am then questioning and worrying like, am I not doing enough? And here people are like starting to like, oh, should I be doing something different? Because I've been chasing after some new clients that didn't pan out at my day job and it doesn't feel easy and it doesn't feel like easeful, meaning, um, I don't have the spaciousness to just be in between, like I know what my nervous system needs. Now I can't do what I did three years ago, which was brute force, push through work, keep going. If I and I'm here just like, oh, I'm feeling emotional, I am probably in a low on my emotional wave in my human design, because I would define, define solar, emotional, solar plexus. Like if you generate a chart, it's this triangle on the right side towards the base of the chart, and like I'm designed to feel highs and lows, not necessarily triggered by the outside world. And here I am definitely feeling a low, definitely situational, definitely also coming off a really amazing high of my vacation, and so it's like my body needs to recalibrate. It. Just contracted is also what's coming up in response to this question of why do I feel like life is coming at me because it feels so different from how I felt like in the last week, is one. Two, because I don't feel like anyone is on my side at work.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

Here I am hiding big parts of me at work, trying to make do, trying to make it work Ideally, wanting to do less work and like again work, not something I have to like pour myself into, not having to deal with like difficult decisions, and I, you know the performance plan is not the hardest thing to deal with on my team, it's just all the people and I can feel the stress of all the partners in my firm and there's a lot of people like I used to be able to work with a few focused partners and that was it. And now, because work is not as flowy as it was before, we're not feeling this abundance of work streaming in. I'm having to source and like scrape almost for work, and it feels hard when I almost don't want that, like that's not what I want. I just want to have something that I go in, I do the work, I come out of it and then I get to be in my home, my family, my business, like all the things that nourish my soul, and so I've been feeling this unexpected nudge or call to like maybe it's time to do something different, even in my day job, which I haven't asked myself that question for a while, thinking that I will magically be able to close one door in my job and fully open up the door to my business. Um, so I guess this comes to the next question that I'm sitting with that you can sit with as well when you feel like life is coming at you.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

When and if you've answered the question like why, why are you feeling this way? What is happening in your life that is making you feel this way? Um, I hope you've gotten one to this place of finding this. What is causing the most tension or stress within you? And to me, it's this I don't feel like anyone's on my side at work, and that feels really hard, like I have taken so much care to cultivate at work, like my allies, my advocates, my and more, and they're there and they're present, but they're struggling too at work. I feel in some ways it's not like terrible and like the company shutting down. Of course, not like doing great, but in my microcosm I feel like I've just been bouncing around from one thing to the next and like the same seems to be true of the people I'm working with closely who are senior to me.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

And so if you've identified that tension point like this behavior and this, what is the feeling that it brings up within me? When you can get to that like I don't feel cared for, I don't feel loved, I don't understood, when you can boil it down to that, keep asking yourself the why. And it doesn't have to be like you have to spontaneously generate the answer from your soul. As you listen to my words, you can allow for the questions to simmer in your body and ask your guides, ask your higher power, like, okay, bring me the answer in the next few days, bring me the answer when I go for a walk, when I cook my next meal, when I brush my teeth. These are all options to receive. And I'm realizing I hope my phone's been not too shaky as I'm talking vigorously with my hands, just talking on my bed with this hair state and sharing where I'm at.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

So if you've gotten to the place and this, what is? Why? Are you feeling like life is coming at you? What is the emotion that it's triggering within you is my next question. This is going to be hard for me too. I feel alone, I feel hurt, I feel sad, I feel unworthy and I feel unloved. And I'm just taking a moment to feel what that feels like in my body, and I invite you to do that too. If there's a situation that is just feeling icky and again back to this life is coming at you, feeling happening to me, you feel very victim in the situation. Like what is the feeling? Can you name it for renaming it, in acknowledging what it is and what it's bringing up in you? Um, I want to explain what's happening. Physiologically is, I guess psychologically and physiologically both? Um is you're starting to take like, oh, this is the pattern, this is the thought, um, spiral of thoughts really that shows up is when I think this way or I notice this, then I start to feel this emotion and that makes me think you go, start to go into this cycle and just by taking time to like, separate yourself just a little bit from that energy, like, oh, this is the feeling and the thought and the feeling and the thought, and it doesn't have to be sequential.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

I ask the questions, but can you tell I have been answering them in this like ultra flowy, all over the place style. It's very feminine. The feminine is designed to be flowy and even chaotic, and that's okay. We make it wrong in so many ways in our masculine structured day jobs. If you have one of those and this is space where you get to bring your feminine forth you get to bring your emotions that's also part of your feminine. You get to bring your intuition forth, part of your feminine Let that be present Sometimes. That's the way to create balance, to create a different perspective around the situation that you might be in, create balance, to create a different perspective around the situation that you might be in.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

And so, as I'm feeling into the answers I just shared for myself, I'm wondering if there's another inquiry, a soul inquiry question that wants to come forth. And the question is what do I want to do from here? Do I want to be where I'm at and let life keep coming at me? Do I want to do something differently? Do I want to feel something differently? Do I want something else to happen for me? Lots of questions in that that came through. So let's take that one by one, um, and let's see if I can. Yeah, like, what do I want to do from here, or do I want to be where I'm at Absolutely not. Do I want something to happen differently? Yes, like I want to have options at work, like which feel good in my body, and it could be options outside of work, but I want them to come to me with ease, gently, from people who I like and respect and can work with. Um, do I want to feel differently? I want to feel trusted. Right now I don't feel that because I feeling in the scarcity world that it feels like at work, it's easy for everyone to start looking out for themselves or coming after others who aren't quite fitting the bill. So that's what's coming up.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

I'm just looking at my own transcript to see what I channeled around questions Do I want to do something differently? Hmm, I don't want to do. Let's see, I'm going to sit with that question. Do I want to do? Let's see, I'm gonna sit with that question. Do I want to do something differently? Um, I want to ask myself is there one next step? Yeah, I'm hearing like channel for your soul from your soul and I did have the nudge before this to open up my human design chart and just like channel around that.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

It's been a while since I did it, so that might be my soul medicine and I'm getting a yes in my body.

Nikhi Joshi (she/her):

Does a no feel like a yes from it? Could be from your guides, but it's really from within your body. It's practicing your sentience. We are here to live a sensory experience, so if you want to learn more about that, I'm happy to teach more. It's something I've been embodying in a really big way over the last year, and so I'm feeling the nudge to take my own soul medicine, the message that I got of tuning into my chart and seeing what wants to come through and I will do that after I close this podcast and know that you can pause me here at any point if you're listening to the replay, to ask yourself these questions. Ask yourself these questions and trust that you can receive answers, because this is the practice of tuning into your soul, listening to your guides or your higher power, listening to your true self, the version of you that is unencumbered. Unencumbered can't seem to say the word by societal conditioning. Thank you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you.